how long is a lifetime?
I am naturally a very organized person. I like to write little to do lists on the notes in my phone, I keep post-its plastered all over my computer monitor with things I need to do, readings I gotta get to , daily things I keep up with for my businesses, and lately, a note with all my blog ideas. This weeks blog though, totally unplanned. I witnessed something yesterday that truly broke my heart but got me thinking about the big picture, the grand scheme of it all, how short or long life is, and how long is a lifetime?
Life for me lately has been very … different . I’ve been really focused on my work and I’ve been introverted as fuck!
I finally left my cave yesterday and decided to go to the mall .. I bought a pair of vans I’ve been eyeing for a while , and a cup of my favorite mangos with vinegar , salt & pepper . I was so content in that moment because really, it’s the little things that make me happy . As my girl and I were headed back toward the car , we see a group of people forming a circle .My initial thoughts were "probably some kids making a tiktok" or "maybe a fight".
I keep walking minding my business , when we get closer to the group I realize they are all surrounding a man on the ground .. and as we get even closer, i realize the man was dead .. he was alone and just dropped . Everyone around started to call the ambulance but by the time they arrived , I believe it was too late . He wasn’t breathing , completely changed color .. you know the rest .. He was alone, no one around him was a friend, family member, wife, husband...he was alone, and he died alone surrounded by strangers at a fucking mall.
I stopped for a second , because honestly I was nauseous , but it made me realize how short this life can be . We can be strolling down the mall one second enjoying the little things like a mango doused in vinegar , and the next we can be laid up in a hospital bed , or we might not even make it there . Life is too short . Life is too short to not be who you want to be , it’s too short to not do what you love , be in love , be around people you love and that love you. It’s too short to not live your dreams and chase them . It’s too short to not be happy . It’s too short to not live in alignment by doing what you say you’re gonna do to become who you want to become. It’s too short to not protect your happiness . It’s too short to be resentful and hold grudges . We don’t know what’s going to happen next , and it’s too short to not to risk it all and just go for it ...whatever ”it “ means to you .
This might feel dramatic , but witnessing that yesterday hit a switch in my brain for me and in my heart . The sad part was really seeing how no one could help this man . People stood around him and called 911, and a few were shaking him to try and wake him up, but there were also people just being nosey , pulling out their phones to record .I saw a security guard walk right passed it as if nothing was happening . A woman even said to him "I'm on the phone with the paramedics, how do they get in to get here quicker?" This security stupid fuck looked at her, shrugged and kept walking! I was in shock and it took a lot for me to not snatch this dick by his toupee and ask him "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" It just goes to show , we come here alone and we leave alone . So just make sure the time you’re spending while you’re here is spent doing what you love , with the people you love , and creating the life you’ve always wanted for yourself . Because we can really lose it all at any second .
When we're on our death beds and have the chance to look back at life, I don't think we're going to regret the things we didn't buy. I don't think we're going to sit there and think about all the luxuries we had, the cars we drove, or what we wore .
I think we're going to think about how life could have been more emotionally fulfilling. We're going to think about the ways that we hurt people, AND loved people. We're going to think about the way we overcame challenges, and grew and learned from them. We're going to think about how we could have done things differently, or how we could have done things by others differently. If we think of regrets, I think we would mostly think about the lies we told, the people we hurt, the way we treated our loved ones. I don't think "damn I had a yacht" would trump these other thoughts.
This obsession with money and materials is wack.Trying to impress strangers really, because the people who truly love you, care for you , and support you do not give a single fuck about what materials you have or how you dress. If your wallet and material possessions determines the type of person you are, how you treat others, and your self worth, you have a lot of inner work to do. But anyway now I'm just rambling.
The point is this , if you needed a sign whether to wait on something or not, the answer is Don't. Because, why? Why wait for "the perfect timing" or "the right moment". The right moment to go after what you want is now. The right moment to say what you feel is now, the right moment to start that business or take that course, is now.
If it's on your mind, its probably on your heart, and if its in your heart, then you've already committed to it. Lead with your heart always.
Thanks for reading <3
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Vany the Bruja