Things you should know

  I woke up this morning and told myself  "I'm going to blog today" . Its a gorgeous day In south Florida, my windows are open, my coffee is delicious, and I sat on my computer and went blank . I'm not a writer, so let's not label this as "writers block" . This is more of a feeling where I have so much to say that I don't even know where to start. I have a list of topics in front of me, written down on sticky notes that are plastered all over my monitor and I can't seem to even begin to get into a specific topic. So here's todays blog post. I am going to go on a bit of a ramble session and just write some things you should know. Things I think about, have read ,or hear about that I believe everyone can benefit from. This one might be a little disorganized and all over the place but hey! , sometimes our thoughts are just that. So here are mine.

 Let's begin with some mental health advice that can change your life:
Think, rest, and respond. If it still bothers you in 24 hours . When we're upset, its easier to react instantly. However, when we're upset, our nervous system isn't regulated and can lead to an atomic ass response. Pausing during these times provides an interruption between how we perceive the stressor, and our automatic reaction. It allows us to think more clearly and respond to the situation more intentionally. 

Stop apologizing for taking up space and expressing your feelings: 
You teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. If you are constantly apologizing for expressing your feelings, setting boundaries, or sharing opinions, you are showing others that you're not worthy of taking up space. So pleaseeeee, own your authentic self and love it unconditionally. 

The way you speak to yourself matters : 
There is actual research to prove that the way we speak to ourselves has a significant impact on our physiological health. If you're constantly judging yourself, putting yourself down, or criticizing your efforts, you will start to believe these things. Start talking to yourself as if you're talking to someone you love and care about. Be your own bestie. 

People aren't thinking about you the way you are thinking about you: 
There is a psychology term called the "spotlight effect" which refers to our tendency to overestimate how much other people think about us or notice us. The truth is, everyone is so concerned about their damn self, their own problems, and their own lives that they don't spend much time thinking about ours. 

Rejection is redirection : 
When you feel rejected or unwanted , acknowledge that yes, it sucks, but don't let this consume you. Look at rejection as redirection to something better. The truth is, if we never experience rejection, we will likely not take many chances and won't feel the need to step out of our comfort zones. Turn adversity into self growth and use the momentum to explore new opportunities. 

When you feel anxious , interrupt your unhelpful thoughts: 
Acknowledge your anxiety and consider what it is telling you. Maybe you need to slow down. Maybe you need to reframe your viewpoint. Or maybe you are under real threat and need to take action . 
Write down what you're thinking and evaluate whether it is actually true. These thoughts could just be based on excessive worry and overthinking. Practice deep breathing, it'll help you regulate your nervous system and allow you to think more clearly. 

  Need more to read? Here we go

Some of the most life changing words someone can hear  when they are healing, hurting, and trying to share their story : 
"Your response makes sense" 
"You deserved better " 
"You're not crazy " 
"I believe you" 
"I'm sorry " 

Shame is a normal response to an abnormal experience. In an attempt to make sense of what happened to us, we accept false blame that we made it happen. Shame is a barrier to our innocence, Until we properly grieve and heal. We then honor the innocence and live shame free. 

There is no such thing as two steps back when you're trying to heal. The two steps back message dismisses the attempt to grow from a position you didn't even ask to be in ! Honor the trying. It'll help the healing. 

"The only true abandonment is the abandonment of self" 

You are not what happened to you. 
You are not your trauma. 
You are not your attachment style. 
You are not your abandonment wound. 
You are not your beliefs .
You are not the labels they give you. 
​You are not the labels you give yourself. 
You are so much more than the content of your life that you've allowed to become your identity. Break free. 

and the last thing I will share on todays ramble is: 
"At some point you gotta be real with yourself about the gap between the life you want to live and the life that your daily habits are leading you towards" 

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