What is accountability?

   I've been doing a lot of tarot readings lately; whether privately for a client, publicly on an instagram live,  myself, or friends and I have noticed a recurring theme . A card that has very often come up for the collective in general has been the Justice card . Justice is mostly known in tarot as a card that represents the law, or receiving justice in a situation . It's about fairness, truth, and cause and effect. As with most tarot cards, the reversed meaning is the opposite. Justice in reverse is about not being held or not holding yourself accountable. The justice card appears at times where you may know you have done something that is not morally right , and others may not  know about it yet. You're left with the choice of owning up to your mistakes or actions, or continue being secretive. The justice in reverse is also a card about you not being fully willing to take accountability for your actions, therefore allowing you to feel like you "dodged a bullet" by blame shifting. Justice has come up so often in that last couple of days that it got me thinking about accountability. What is accountability ? What does it mean? Does this mean something different for everyone? 

  Alright so , what is accountability? Accountability is an acceptance of responsibility for honest and ethical conduct towards others. Accountability is the acceptance of responsibility for one's own actions. It implies a willingness to be transparent, allowing others to observe and evaluate. 
Now, most of us know that for every action there is a reaction . If our actions haven't been...lets just say "the best" , we must first be aware of that. We must first acknowledge that we fucked up somewhere along the line. Holding yourself accountable is accepting it, and taking responsibility for it, and then if and when we can, making it right . The accountable route should be a direct reflection of the integrity of the person you want to be. 

 Sometimes, holding ourselves accountable can even mean that we can't necessarily "fix" something though right? So is accountability subjective ?What if the fixing is beyond our control? What if its something we absolutely can not change? What if my version of accountability isn't the same as yours? What if you hurt someone, and you've done all you possibly can, and that person still does not believe that you have fully held yourself accountable and have taken responsibility for your actions? Well, the good news is that we are not in control of anything that happens, we are only in control of our own reactions to what happens. So if there is something you struggle with , that you want to or are holding yourself accountable for , yet you can't really change it . It's OK. What you can control in these situations are : the way your future self will react, the way you choose to live your life moving forward, deciding to become the person you want to be. No one and nothing can take those things away from you. You have the right . It is your right and your decision to make the right choices from here on out and live the life you want to live. 

The first step to holding yourself accountable is to get in the right mindset. Decide you want change. Decide you want a better future. Decide how you want to live moving forward. Of course, we are all flawed humans and we will 100% continue to make mistakes but to understand that the point of these mistakes are for us to learn important life lessons so that we can keep evolving into the best versions of ourselves. We are all flawed human beings and all we can do is try. 

  Get an accountability buddy ! Choose a friend or family member that you know will call you out on your bullshit (in a loving way of course). Find someone who will tell you "hey ! You're doing it again !" "Hey, you're slipping, get back on track !" "Hey ! Focus !" If you do not want to rely on someone, keep a journal of your progress. Use technology even ! Set reminders in your phone to make sure you get to your journal. Keep a schedule or a daily to-do list so that you can begin to implement new practices into your daily routine for your healing journey. Set small goals every week and hit those goals! Then reward yourself for reaching those goals. Want to hold yourself accountable for unhealthy eating? Set a small goal like , Go to the gym 3 days this week and eat clean. Once you reach that goal, reward yourself with a rest day and your favorite snack. But then, get back to business! 

  Create a vision board. This can be put up on your wall where you can see it everyday , or designed as the wallpaper /screensaver on the devices you use most. Include photos of the type of people you admire. The type of people that motivate you, that you'd like to gain some inspiration from on your new accountability journey . Build your own new healthy habits. Listen to, read, or watch something positive or inspirational everyday. Look for the small victories . Be proud that you are taking the steps! 

   Throughout this process, and journey, we must remember that self accountability and self criticism are two completely different things. I understand you messed up. Your loved ones understand too. But it's not about bashing yourself. It's about knowing , deciding, and showing that you are looking for change. 
Self accountability looks like : "What can I learn about myself from what happened?" . "What pattern brought me here ?" "I work to consistently forgive myself"  While self criticism looks like "I'm so stupid, I never do anything right ". "Everything is my fault " . "I fell off"  "Everyone is doing better than me" "Why cant I get my shit together? " 

  These are trying times for us all. Remember , the way we speak to ourselves is so important on our journeys and holding yourself accountable is pretty much impossible with no objective . Decide that you are worth the effort , make promises to yourself, think about what is motivating you and what your goal is, check in with yourself or a friend, and remember you have to be willing to take responsibility for your actions. Turn off the procrastination button, motivations wane and good intentions fade because we don't feel the pressure of a deadline, we aren't really clear on what we want, we may not even know where to start. 

  One thing is for sure though, whatever you decide to think and however you decide to act will have consequences. Therefore, you need to hold yourself accountable for the decisions you make. That’s where it all starts. I hope that this write up gave you a good starting point. And if you need help , I am here. 
Thank you for reading. Hope you all enjoyed this one.

                                                          Much Love,
                                                                 Vany

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